If there was a "cure" I would not take it.

Hi Jenna,          and welcome to TGP, well done re weight, not an easy one, I try keeping myself fit and healthy best i can, i also worry alot and i am sure that helps too.I too lost my dad three years ago, but i lost my mum several years before that, life has its ups and downs!! lovely to hear that you will be starting hormones soon too, social groups, I just tried to google some in your area, i am sure there are plenty but here is one, no doubt there will be plenty of others so a search might be a way to find more. https://theouthouse.org.uk  And another search for your area http://transliving.co.uk  transliving club nights are normally held monthly (with a short break over the summer). we have exclusive use of the venue (basildon post office sports & social club, gardiners way, basildon, ss14 3ap) with a licensed bar, changing facilities and disco: a great opportunity to make new friends and socialise with existing ones! Good luck kat

My thought exactly

While we try to be Trans Positive on this site, even here it has gotten a bit dark at times.  Do not hesitate to post about the good and uplifting events in your lives here, and give the dark topics a scroll-over as self protection.  There are positive things going on right now in our communities, we have notable Trans celebrities doing remarkable things, and believe it or not we do have allies saying wonderful things about us that are out there too. 

It's so hard not to be consumed by the bad news these days, but it is so important to keep a healthy balance.  Doom scrolling is the habit of reading one negative social post after another, and there's lots of evidence that point to it having a significant impact on mental health.  Too much doom scrolling and it's easy to believe the "sky is falling."  We owe it to ourselves to take a break from bad news, to seek out the good news.  Unfortunately, bad news sells, which is why the press and social media is so full of it.  It means that sometimes, we have to search for the good news.   Whenever I start to get that "sky is falling" feeling, I ask myself if what I'm reading, I'm actually seeing.  In some cases I do see some of what I read, but in most cases, what I read doesn't really affect me from day to day.  As a part-time woman, I am still expressing my feminine half out in the world, and I'm finding that my experiences don't match the doom I'm reading in the media.  I'm not naive.  I know some bad things are happening to our community, but overall, life hasn't changed for me.  It gives me hope and it reminds me that I can't let myself be overcome by all the bad news I'm reading.    In the current anti-trans climate, it is important to keep a healthy news balance.  It's also important to gauge the news against our real-world experiences. 

Just got back from my interview. I think it went OK. I hope to hear good news in a couple days.   It is at a small satellite campus of the community collage in Cheyenne.    Hugs, Kymmie

Welcome, Jenna! It sounds like you are well on your way into transition and have a solid plan for moving ahead. I am sure some of our members will jump in to offer ideas but you can also wander the forums where you'll find lots of information. Feel free to ask questions and to jump into conversations where you feel comfortable.

Good afternoon all   Hope everyone has enjoyed the bank holiday.   Just a quick introduction. I am 49 6ft3 and 17 stone and i am just starting my transition for the 2nd time. I started transition originally 9 yrs ago and got through the whole gic process to getting accepted for hormone treatment when my dad became ill and i had to make the hard decision to stop my transition so i could become full time carer for him. Unforunately he passed away 3 yrs ago and i am finally in the situation where i can recomence my transition. I have had gic appointments and have been told i have until october to show i am presenting as female in my work and social life, change my name and lose weight and hopefully will start hormone treatment shortly after october. So far since january i have managed to lose 2 stone in weight but still a way to go. Work wise i have informed most people that i will be presenting as female shortly and am slowly changing bits as i go. Socially i am struggling a bit as i have always struggled socially anyway as a male and being the size i am and being heavily tattooed it is near impossible to pass even slightly. I changed my name legally this week so will now be Jenna which i absolutely love. I am hoping to meet some likeminded ladies and gentlemen who are transitioning or have already transitioned that could offer me advise and help. I live near Romford in essex so if anyone lives near to me that would be willing to become friends in the area that would be great too. I see my quick intro has ended up being a bit of an essay but that is me. Hope to hear from people soon Thanks for reading.   Jenna

I am still a work in progress. I don't really know what I want to wear. I know that I put much more time and effort into picking out my outfit (or two or three lol) for the day. I enjoy that time, and I like seeing myself smile back in the mirror when it comes together the way I hoped it would. Yeah, that's a cool feeling.    However I experience anxiety. The environment I will be going into profoundly influences my comfort level about what I'm wearing. The roots of my fear of drawing unwanted attention run very deep and have multiple sources, and so I'm often striking a balance between dressing to express myself and dressing to make a positive impression. Or at least a non-negative impression.    Dressing "safely" to address latter goal is becoming less and less an option.    So, for example, my wife did not like the kilt outfit I wore to church yesterday (posted in my gallery). (I can't really get lost in the crowd because I am a church musician and the senior non-ordained leader). The option of "play it safe" jumped into my head - yes, I could swap the kilt for chinos. But my stomach literally curdled at the thought of doing that.    The day turned out well, I felt good and natural and, aside from stress of performing music, joyful -- and it showed. And I got compliments and non-negative comments and that helped me and my wife move forward with me being able to further explore expressing myself through my clothes.    So yeah. I still am a work in progress.    -Timi   (BTW for those who are interested in these sorts of things, it is a Shiels clan tartan; my surname is a variant of that)

Thats just the media selling news papers, same with the news, the 88 page document was brought about due to a word and the court ruling said that the word woman, in the equalities act meant biological woman, although a trans man and trans woman whom work in the department of uk Equalities dispute the court's ruling. Nothing was said by the court with regard to spaces, that was the press and media, one avenue might be to remove the word woman and replace it with female, so female and male toilets.

No more hidden secrets from me

Not a bad bank holiday, apart from the rain, I am just in the process of making a meal up from yesterday's roast dinner. Ive managed to colour my hair this time its copper and auburn for a change, thats the beauty of wash in colours. I really need to get to the hairdresser and get it cut, its nearly down to my waist at the back. Did a half hour of exercises, working on my waist and upper and lower abdominal muscles like the video below, the exercises shown are not difficult, the idea is to build up over time.   Pulling up (ballet term) and divide the body walking from the waist/hip, when i am out walking i do this all the time. There is alot of pressure to stay in shape, more so when the summer months role in.

One big thing I look at there is no profit in it. I myself believe there is a cure for cancer. However, it is more profitable to treat it than cure it. It is all about money pure and simple. Look at the billions spent on cancer. then someone produces a cure. There goes the money companies receive.   Look at the cost of medicine. Where producing it cost pennies then the big companies sell it for $2500 a dose. Where does all that profit go. Some goes the manufacturing, then the shipping from over seas, but a majority goes into the pockets of the executives who sit on their dead arse doing nothing.   Unfortunately a cure or anything related towards the transgender populous. Is at the bottom of the list. I can bet that less than .005% of any research is done on transgenderism.   Off my soap box.   Kymmie

Exciting!

How did you feel when you could finally wear the clothing you wanted to wear, all the time?   For me there was no first time i wanted to wear, in that there was no threshold that i crossed. For public presentation I have worn what I've wanted to for decades. So I guess i just felt like me.      Was it a relief?  Well not so much a relief as it just felt better and more balanced.   Were you worried about what others thought?  I’ve never really given that, that much thought.   Did it fill you with glee? Sometimes there has been moments of euphoria yes. Sometime quite the opposite. But that was less about the clothing and more about my mood at that moment.   Was it a normal feeling? What’s “normal”? Certainly not me, and my fashion choices. But as i have comfortably found my style, it does feel normal and there are fewer moments of euphoria or of “uneuphoria” so that for me feels more “normal”

pantyhose on my toes wiggling them feeling fem wearing pink watching WinX girl today girl always

Jessica, we are born with incongruent gender, and at this stage, there is no medical way to prevent this in a small percentage of humans. One day there may be a way to prevent this incongruence, but there are a lot of ethical considerations. I spent 60+ years determined not to transition, but learned that the dysphoria from incongruence can destroy your health. I really don't like that I am trans, but it is what it is and I just needed to make the most of it.    I have a different perspective to most in our community, as I don't believe I have transitioned to my true self, but that I have treated a malady which was negatively affecting my life. I am still trans, but I have significantly reduced my incongruence. It is not a 'cure' but a treatment. I still have some dysphoria, and I still feel I am somewhere between the binary.    The 'march towards transition' is not 'inevitable', I stalled it for over 60 years, and many never transition. Transition is the most effective treatment for those who have dysphoria significantly negatively affecting their life, but not for everyone. For some people it can help reduce dysphoria, but introduce a bunch of other problems which may be worse. You need to be confident that transition can be achieved and improve your life. It is no guarantee of peace and happiness, and any challenges in your current life will still need to be dealt with, and the reality may be quite different than you imagined.   I truly hope this works out for you no matter which way you tackle it.   Hugs,   Allie

Thanks for the responses.  Square peg round hole rings true.  We cannot change our very nature it would seem. Accept it and celebrate it where we can...  

if you wish it on a personal bases, there is a thing called conversion therapy, they can pump your brain with electric and medicate you so you think your a chicken, but it masks something far deeper, like being gay, being a person of colour, its part of a spectrum which we should love and tolerate, not try to cure as if an illness. Trying to fix is a social construct, there is nothing to fix its part of this wonderful diverse world that we live in