Ah.  "Gender Outlaw" by Kat Bornstein is an interesting book.   I get this. I usually "identify" as female, but the choices are usually binary.  I do realize that I am a "trans-woman" though.  I have a friend who explains herself as "A woman of transgendered experience."   I kinda like that.

Welcome to TransPulseForums Ange,    Best wishes, stay positive and motivated.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

Yup.  Another hot one.  It's already in the 80's in the house.  I'll be mostly sitting by the fan today.  Perhaps we'll get some rain later.

Good morning everyone,    Happy Sunday and I hope you have a wonderful day. Stand strong but pick your battles and know you will persevere to win happiness. Don’t let what could happen, scare you away from what is happening.    You are valued, worthy, and loved,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋      

I saw this morning where Tractor Supply has caved too.   https://www.advocate.com/news/tractor-supply-drops-diversity#toggle-gdpr   I trade with them.  They had always been surprisingly nice to me.  I hope that doesn't change.     I think being gay is probably easier to play down than being trans once you're out.  A cis person is still (usually) seen as cis.  Whereas someone like myself…   Apparently, there's a lot of pressure to get with the program in the conservative world, and little repercussion.  You don't have to actually believe this stuff.  Just act like you do.     The "backlash" against the queer community (such as it is) is way out of proportion.

Just a small bet that the protestors from last year were in the group that attended this year and actually had fun and learned some things too.  the way a Happy Pride should be.  Looking good with your friend there.

Good morning   well sorta good sorta not good.  As far as the broken ribs are concerned, my low back muscles are getting a pretty heavy workout and are sore. I take a muscle relaxant to help with that, at least I think that’s why I have that prescription.  I am able to breathe fully now. Although there is some odd sensation as I am exhaling in my lowest left lobe which is where the broken ribs are.getting up out of bed is painful some other motions of getting up or sitting down are still painful but generally I’m starting to feel a lot better already.  Twisting isn’t good for sure.  But it’s mostly getting up and down stooping or bending to pick something up especially when turned.  Reaching up doesn’t seem to be a problem.   @Birdie I looked to see what state you were in.  Bummer being in the anti LGBTQIP crescent just as I am.  At least on this end they tend to ignore the adults but punish the under 18s to make up for it.  On your end it seems like all they want to do is take away citizens rights, weather its LGBT, or women or what they can come up with next, maybe religious freedom.  They are certainly trying to turn back time.  Anyway the tiny version of your flag looked like the NC flag and while the Republicans on this end of the crescent are trying to follow Texas, they aren’t as strong, yet.  So I can’t suggest anything you could do other than exactly what you are doing.   Another weather alert day here hot, humid and windy!   Willow

Welcome Ange! Glad you're here. I was "ditto, me too"ing a lot of your story. Gender outlaw, I remember reading it in someone's gender workbook. I can't remember the author atm. I did love learning gender is on a spectrum & doesn't have to be any one point on it. I hope you find the wonderful advice support acceptance here as I have.   Hugs! Delcina 

I told my mother at 4 yeas old I should have been a girl, she said I was just imagining things, and I accepted that. By 7 years old I realised that my gender was incongruent with my sex. For the next few years I tried unsuccessfully to stop the nagging thoughts. After a horror puberty, I realised I couldn't stop these thoughts, or do anything about them, so I set about learning to live with them. I took a trip to the US with a group of young men, and instead of finding my place, I felt uncomfortable. I realised then that I needed to be myself, so I focussed on things which I enjoyed, like domestic duties and raising my babies. This allowed me to internally realise my self, while maintaining a public persona enabling me to provide for my family.   It wasn't until I was 65 that I gave in to transition to reduce dysphoria, but for most of my adult life, I lived as me. Not the person others perceived me to be, but, within myself I was true to who I knew I was. You will see that there wasn't a single point in my life where I found myself as my realisation developed over decades. I guess there was a point where I realised I couldn't deny my true self, but I knew who I was well before that.   Almost a decade before I transitioned, my work colleagues gave me the nickname 'Nana' because of the dedication to my grandchildren, and they knew I did all the cooking and cleaning at home. My manager declared that I was the most sensitive person in our office of mostly women. My hair was the same length it is now, and my overall appearance not much different, yet nobody guessed I was trans. Though they perceived me as a feminine man, I was being true to myself.   Hugs,   Allie

This year was the second annual Pride event in our small town.  Last year's event was a counter-protest in response to an anti-drag-story-hour  protest.  The original protest consisted of five sad-looking people; the counter-protest across the street drew 300 very colourful and exuberant people (in pouring rain)!  Given the success of that counter-protest, they decided to hold an actual scheduled march this year.  Pride season in this part of the world is a bit later than elsewhere, in order to get better weather.  It tends to be late June and early July.   So this year's event drew several hundred people.  There was a rally in a downtown park (speeches were informative but too long!), followed by a march through downtown streets to a parking lot by the town hall where there were vendor booths set up.  Police did traffic control for us at intersections.  There were some spectators, all smiling and waving.  There were no (count 'em: none) signs of hostility anywhere.   This area has a reputation of being conservative, but the people are polite and hospitable.  Politeness and hospitality won out.  It is clear that the folks who started the anti-trans protest last year are very much in the minority.  Our Member of Parliament was there, wearing a rainbow T-shirt.   I know that some countries have issues with trans or gay members serving in the military.  In Canada, we have put that behind us.  Here is a photo of me (in orange) from yesterday with my trans friend Michelle, who is a major in the RCAF.  She is non-binary (leaning towards trans-feminine) and has official permission to wear either men's or women's uniform.  She is the coordinator for diversity for her base, and being trans in public, in uniform is her actual job.

For me, it was listening to a trans astrophysicist deliver a talk about her research.    Until then, any time I had even considered the question of whether I might be transgender, I had always come up with the thought that those were weird, freaky people who were the butt of universal ridicule, so I couldn't possibly be one.  Seeing that a trans woman could be a respected academic and could be listened to by a room full of ordinary people intent on hearing what she had to say on her subject, without any nudge-nudge-wink-wink whispering, totally changed my self-image.  It allowed me to consider the possibility that that could be me.

Things have definitely changed over time.  I had to have two therapists sign off prior to my orchiectomy.  At that point under a republican administration there were as many obsticals as were seemingly possible.       I would advise that you speak to you GT and or ask your surgeons office what is required.    Hugs,   Charlize

The doctor who did mine said there was no need for anyone to sign off on it based on my HRT history, I was quite surprised.   Then the day of the procedure he apparently tried to get tbe therapist that I had already stopped seeing to OK the orchi.   She declined to comment since I hadn't given her permission to do so, and I was already under anesthesia by the time she got that request and couldn't say 'sure, go ahead'. Weird.    Physically the recovery was so easy that I don't really remember any issues that needed dealing with. 

Hiding In androgyny gets increasingly difficult.

Hi Ange, and welcome. From the outside, I am what most people would call a trans woman. Among cis people, because their understanding of the language around gender is generally so limited, I usually use that term myself, although I’m not sure it’s accurate. But among trans and gender-diverse folks I usually use “transfemme” or “transfeminine”. Sometimes I try to correct my cis friends, who are all hugely supportive, when they use the term “woman” to describe me, but what I tell them never seems to stick; they just see me as a woman, and since I find that flattering I don’t bother arguing with them often.    My point is, I think grey areas and fluidity are intrinsic to gender for many of us and that labels can be situational. Do I believe I am a woman? Sometimes, for an hour or so at a stretch, sure. Sometimes not. Do I feel feminine? More often than not. Meanwhile, the ratio of masculine to feminine is changing as the years of conditioning (much of it self-conditioning) fall away. But I don’t need to feel 100% feminine or like a woman to know I want — in fact, need — to transition. The questions about gender could last forever, at least in my case. The question about how I want to look and behave and appear to others was far easier to answer.

Welcome to the forums, Ange! We are each unique yet have much in common. You’ll find lots of great information and many amazing people here. Most of all, you’ll find acceptance. I look forward to getting to know you!

For me it was a near-total breakdown as the years of dysphoria and depression overwhelmed me. A simple “What’s wrong?” from my wife brought it all gushing out and my journey began.

Living a true authentic life now.

Emotional resilience is your ability to respond to stressful or unexpected situations and crises. The amount of emotional resilience you have is determined by a number of different things, including your age, identity and what you've experienced in your life.