My understanding is that that is being challenged in Maine.  The outcome of that case may be significant.  Or not.   Either way, try to stay hopeful.

Thanks for the commiseration, Sally :D You know, thinking about it later after the emotions had passed, I realized it's better to have learned about the proprietors weirdness regarding their own perceived gender incongruity in advance of actually dining there. I mean, suppose we had established ourselves there and then they made some kind of comment. It would have been much worse.       Lol, like I said, Florida is a "special" place.     OMG lol Charlize. Too funny!

I had a couple of young guys working with me for awhile that were a mess.  They had gotten drunk and got bellybutton piercings.  On the job the next day they were very uncomfortable.   I've been pretty much satisfied with just my ears…  Well, there is the nose ring.   And Happy Easter to those who celebrate.  I kinda regret not picking up a chocolate bunny for myself.

Please do not repost your earlier topics, this is unnecessary and will be considered spamming the forums.    

Hello & welcome to this community, @Nica5. I wish you well. I have been reading this thread and hope to clarify some things because it seems there is a good deal of misunderstanding.    First, I realize this is (one of) your first posts. And it's natural to post about something you need support with. I must assume that since you're reaching out here, that you want help. That's why all of us are here - to find and give help, love, and support. That cannot be achieved without frankness and honesty. This community is special. Our admins protect us from misconduct and ensure a safe space for us to be ourselves. This is also a rare community because it contains such a high number of deep thinkers, courageous souls, and absolute sweethearts. Let me say again, to emphasize, that one of the hallmarks of this community is our honesty - we value growth and upliftment - for all. You are welcome here and we care for you - so much so that we will be honest with you, gentle yes, and also frank and forthright. It's because we care about you and the entire community.    As for the quoted comment above, I wanted to point out that at age 22 the body is continuing to develop. It's subtle - not as pronounced as, say, puberty - but developing into full adulthood nonetheless. I understand there are medical signs that your doctors are adhering to, and I'm not dismissing the difficulties navigating your actual experience versus clinical measurements of hormone levels. I am just saying that a lot changes in the body around that age. So, it's possible that given time things will continue to level out to a more consistent experience with your affirming medical care.   It is also clear that you're in distress. Does your trans medical care include mental healthcare? Please note that by my asking this, I am not implying that "it's all in your head". Mental healthcare is recommended for all who are undergoing transition (or questioning, etc.) As you are going through this difficult instability in your medical transition, it would be enormously helpful if you could get support as far as accepting things as they are, learning how to manage strong negative emotions, and developing faith that all adverse circumstances will pass.       If you look at this very condensed portion of your narrative from a positive point of view, notice that it is not the case that there has been no feminization at all. You did experience facial feminization, albeit to some variable degree. I understand you are emphasizing loss and despair. But I wish to highlight that you got to see a glimpse of what is possible, what your body can do under the right set of circumstances. It may take time and a great deal of patience to regain those circumstances, but it is certainly possible and you have seen for yourself the results. Don't focus on the loss, try to focus on hope - you've had a vision of the future and that is a gift.   Indeed, if you could achieve the exact appearance you dream about, you would probably experience drastically less dysphoria and suicidal ideation. But that is not the full story. MANY of us will attest to the fact that at the root of those lies a lack of self-acceptance. That requires inner work; outer work will get you only so far. But true inner peace is found by learning to love yourself, and thus to love others - that does not depend on appearances or circumstances - when you have achieved some degree of steadiness of mind and heart, then nothing can disturb you to the extent it does at present. That's easily said, but requires qualified guidance and a lot of self-effort to achieve. Yes, go after your transition goals. And may you achieve them. But do consider counseling as well.     Definitely. Based on your photos - with all the same caveats others have noted (static image versus real life, forced facial expression, possible camera magic, etc.) you are lovely. You resemble a cis woman friend of mine who I have always considered very glamourous in an understated way. So, whereas many here are commenting on your "passability", it underscores your potential to achieve your transition goals. In other words, we see you not as a blank canvas, but as an already a pretty picture. You say that even over the phone you are pegged as female. And you did have that transitory facial feminization experience which proves that that goal is achievable. However, please do not disregard the emotional/mental/spiritual (however you construe it) support and development that is absolutely necessary for real, meaningful change.     Nica dear, can YOU please curtail your suspicions of others in this community? If your perspective were the only valid one, what kind of world would that be. Please think about that seriously. Just because you don't believe it when someone tells you you are attractive does not mean they're lying. It means you don't understand their perspective. You lack of understanding does not invalidate someone else's perspective. If you feel upset when someone compliments your looks, instead of lashing out, consider it an opportunity to examine the precariousness of your own perception of yourself. That does not imply that your perception is wrong either. But it points to the illusoriness of perception in general. You see yourself through the lens of dysphoria, anger at healthcare provides, disappointment, your own imposed set of expectations, etc. Others don't have all that coloring their lens when they approach you.     Please see community rule #4 https://www.transgenderpulse.com/community-rules/ Although the member you said this to did not share her personal experience, I would point out that rule #4 would also imply not assuming that someone else's life challenges are non-existent.    Again, from a positive point of view, consider the fact that MOST (close to all) people in this community HAVE or currently do experience/d severe gender dysphoria. And yet we have not only lived to tell the tale, but many of us have achieved levels of happiness and contentment that we could not have previously dreamed possible. And that does not necessarily correspond to how effectively we have attained our pre-conceived transition goals. Be inspired by that! Open your heart. We do care, we are here, we are listening. You are welcome and you are cared for.

This is repost. I haven't gotten any answers to my previous question that I asked yesterday.    Information about me: I am MtF and 22 and have been on HRT (gel with t blockers) for almost three years but to no avail. I still look like a man.      The answers were not even slightly related to my question in the previous post. I assume people didn't even read the entire description because it was too long and I apologize for the long description but my situation is complex and I wanted provide as much information as possible:   2. Do you think my transition goals are achievable for me based on what I currently look like and based on the steps I want to take to realize them?       My goal is to become a cispassing trans woman who is close to being conventionally attractive.        I know that at first glance this sounds vain but hear me out.        The harsh truth is that when trans people meet those high standards of attractiveness, they'll be treated better.        To achieve this goal, I am going to undergo Facial Feminization Surgery, permanent full body hair removal with laser, saggy skin removal (I have lost a lot of weight), supercharged BBL, waist-narrowing surgery, and breast augmentation. Luckily, my parents help me immensely by allowing me to live with them rent-free and by letting me set my entire monthly salary aside for surgeries every month.        I have suffered a lot at the hands of straight people. I was almost beaten to death, I was stalked, I keep getting threats, I have experienced discrimination and what's even more painful heterosexual people have deprived me of my agency by discriminating against me.        For me, becoming conventionally attractive isn't necessarily about validation (though it's a nice added bonus). It's more about safety. I know that drop-dead gorgeous trans women have been killed before but if you're not visibly trans    and you meet those high conventionally attractive cispassing standards, you'll be able to feel safe 90% of the time.        The only source of danger will be tricking a man but if you're very upfront from the get-go, I don't think you'll experience any kind of severe harm.        The reason why this goal is very important to me is that I'd like to pursue a career in conference interpreting and writing. As a conference interpreter, I'd like to work with English, French, Spanish, Russian and Mandarin. As we all know, Russians and the Chinese aren't exactly the most trans-friendly bunch but there is also plenty of anecdotal evidence that even so-called trans-friendly nations (English-speaking countries, Spain, France, Germany etc.) are hypocrites and deep-down transphobic. Although these nations have laws that are designed to safeguard minorities, and their rights, these laws are smoke and mirrors . They have too many loopholes that allow heterosexual people to break these laws and get away with it.        Additionally, reaching this goal would alleviate gender dysphoria for me and help with my suicidal ideation.        Here are some pics of me.       Do you think my transition goals are achievable based on the pictures of me below and based on the surgeries I am going to undergo?       Please be honest and no hug boxing . I look forward to reading your answers. 

It does suck

The problem with staying in the US is that even in "blue" states, the federal law overrides state laws.  So "blue" states are not really safe for trans people under this regime.   I don't really have anywhere else to go, and besides this is my home and has been for years.  I own property here, my children and grandchildren are here, etc.   I'm just hoping the enforcement of the new laws is sketchy, and maybe those of us who are not prominent will be ignored.   But it may be a little late for me.  I have participated in protests unmasked.  And while I do mind my own business, I have been pretty openly trans around town for a few years now.  I have had people introduce themselves, "I've seen you around…"  They are usually genuinely friendly.  But I do realize that less friendly people have also "seen me "around town."

@Betty KThe point of this thread was not to ask whether I pass or not! It was whether I can achieve my transition goals or not! Thanks for reading the question!

@Nica5 please remember that we do not allow discussions on how to obtain, nor recommend attempting to get any type of hormones other than direct through your medical provider, it’s both dangerous and against our T&C’s that you agreed to follow when you registered. This is due to the fact that everyone is different and what may work for one person, may be fatal for another and we do not have access to your medical 

Oh I see, the question was in the title. My apologies. I don’t know how you’d get hormones in Germany, sorry. I thought you just wanted to vent.

You didn’t ask a question.   But now that you are asking a question, I began to see small physical changes within the first 3-6 months. But even now, after three years, the changes are subtle.  I tried patches first and hated them (skin irritation), then tried gel, and now I have an implant in my lower abdomen, something which is not available in many countries from what I gather.   Have you seriously seen no changes *at all*?

Hmm, I’m not sure how you’d know that. What I do know is that, as I said, it’s virtually impossible to tell whether someone passes based on a few still photos. So while I get that you feel terrible because you don’t pass irl, and I’m very sad to hear that, there’s no point in asking strangers on the internet to assess how well or poorly you pass. To me it seems obvious that you’ll get there eventually but in the meantime you just have to find a way to accept that it’s a process. What else can you do?

@Betty KYou don't know what severe gender dysphoria feels like 

@Betty K, I don't mean to be rude but this doesn't answer my question.    I know the clothing rule etc.    When did HRT start working for you? What did you switch to?

This may be obvious, but don't put on clothing or lie in bed for half an hour after applying the gel, and make sure your skin is clean before applying. I agree gel is frustrating; I tried it for a while and my levels fluctuated a lot.

You have no reason at all to think anyone here is lying to you. On the contrary, I think we're all astonished that you have so much self-pity when to us you look so attractive. Please, for your own sake, at least try to get over it.

I would love to get my belly button pierced. I will, when I loose about 100 #s which means probably never. Oh well. I am just to F ing fat to rock one the proper way.

Let me preface this by saying that I am going to be vulgar because Germany has only idiots as endocrinologists. Don't take anything personally and I apologize in advance but I am sick of N@zi Land and it's fake endocrinologists.    Hi,   I am sick of German endocrinologists.    I have been on hormones for three years and no -censored- change at all! (I am MtF)   I have seen 4 charlatans and those -dimwits- failed to understand that gel isn't working for me! I am sick of Germany!   I hate that I haven't changed at all. I am suffering a lot from gender dysphoria and I also have suicidal ideation because of this and these mentally -dimwitted- bastards still don't get it!   I want estrogen and progesterone in injectable forms or in pill forms.     

@MarieChelan, Can you please stop lying?! I can't stand white lies