Returning to this saga which I originally posted August 6, 2023 (wow!).    Two things.   One, this friend. I heard from her recently. She'd been out of touch. Her perpetual busyness with life stuff was what was preventing me from addressing the original issue (TERFy ranting); I didn't want to add to her stress. Maybe that's just an excuse. At any rate, she'd been mostly out of touch for a long time now. Occasional texts that began, "sorry it's been so long." About a month ago I heard from her. She said she's finally emerging after two years of upheaval. So I was like hey what's going on. She listed some things including her father who had developed Alzheimer's & that she started a new job. I offered sympathy about her dad's situation and well wishes on the job. Then no reply. Again. So, I just didn't feel inclined to add any sort of - "we should totally catch up soon." I feel content with life right now. A precious gift. I would not turn her away if she reached out to me. But I don't feel like extending myself.   Two, what made me think of this thread was a different thing which happened today. If it weren't for the medical issues communities there, I think I would delete my facebook acct immediately. Lol, you can probably tell where this is going. For some context, also in 2023 (April), I confronted a family member about posting transphobic memes on facebook. (I wrote about that in another thread.) It's really interesting to reflect on what a major deal it was to encounter these instances of transphobia two years ago. That is, I feel I am better equipped to deal with such things now - I'd like to think mostly due to personal growth, and frankly, partially due to being confronted with this recent onslaught which rather forces one to deal with it, one way or another. Today, in a moment of idleness, I looked at facebook. A good friend of mine posted a transphobic video. Something meant to be "funny" about "men" in women's sports. I felt really disappointed in him. I drafted a text, didn't send it, then deleted it.    Here's the thing. Just two years ago, instances of transphobia seemed rather shocking to me. Evidently. Now, it has been so normalized and has become acceptable as casual humor, much more so than two years ago when it seemed more caustic and shocking. It's almost like a bend in time back to the 80s and 90s where "men in dress" humor was peppered into entertainment media, except for back then, there was a legitimate widespread ignorance regarding trans people; whereas now, it seems more intentional. Perhaps that's just my perspective. But it was the flavor of the video that made me think that. I'm struggling to figure out how to describe it. More "palatable" in a mainstream kind of way? The sort of thing that anyone prone to finding basic slapstick humor would be amused by. Whereas transphobic memes I'd seen in the past seemed to take more of a definitive position. Yes, I think that's it. The creation of transphobic memes for mass consumption. And memes refers also to transphobic opinions created for mass consumption.   Without getting into too much of a political frenzy - because that is not what I want to focus on; I am more interested in the sociological phenomenon at play - I've been observing lately how masses of people's political viewpoints are like fashion trends. I would provide more examples, but as stated, this is not a thread in the political forum. My point is that is it remarkable how so many can be swayed. "Here, this is what's considered funny or outrageous now. Laugh at it or be outraged by it." Is my friend who posted the video even aware of how hateful it is? I really don't think so. He's a lighthearted guy and not a supporter of the current regime. To him, lives aren't at stake by perpetuating ignorance via social media. He just thinks it's a funny video. I am 99.9% sure that is the case without having asked him about it. In fact, if I brought it up, he might not even remember it as it was just another funny thing he posted.   Is it even worth having a conversation about it? I want to let it go. For my own mental health. But if I feel tension regarding him, I'm gonna have to get it off my chest. 

@Heather Shay thank you. Initially, when I read the question, I thought maybe I was stuck. But after reflecting on the past year, I realize I’m not, I’m evolving. Spiritually, emotionally, and socially, I feel like I’m growing and becoming more in every way.   When I first began this journey, I had no idea it would be like this. I thought transitioning would be solely about the appearance of my body.   But it’s become so much more than that.   ~ Lilis 🫂 💗 

I consulted with my learned colleague ChatGPT and it seems there are questionnaires that relate directly to the stress of gender dysphoria but if you are looking for a quick online fill-it-yourself job, you will be disappointed. Most, if not all, the questionnaires seem to be used by professionals in the field. If you want to pursue these, here is a list:   The Utrecht Gender Dysphoria Scale (UGDS) The Gender Preoccupation and Stability Questionnaire The Gender Minority Stress and Resilience Measure (GMSR) Or perhaps: Custom Psychological Distress Scales + Dysphoria-Specific Context Some clinicians or researchers pair general distress measures like: Kessler Psychological Distress Scale (K10), Depression Anxiety Stress Scales (DASS-21), PHQ-9 / GAD-7, with targeted questions about dysphoria ("Over the past two weeks, how often has dysphoria-related distress affected your mood?")   Sorry about the BOLD sections, it wouldn't copy and paste without them.   Perhaps it helps you, but looking at the list, it probably won't   Hugs Becca

I think it's good to celebrate small steps. I went outside for 60 seconds yesterday with a bra and some false silicone DD boobs and a pink hoodie, albeit hidden mainly by my men's coat. I'm terrified at the moment of being seen, but if can do 2 minutes next time and then without the coat on after that,  my little steps will build into a big step. My body is charged with excitement for the next foray.   Euphoria is quite a drug.....

Hi All,   I work in the healthcare sector and there are a multitude of questionnaires out there to assess and measure the impact of different situations on peoples lives and that help to direct treatment, support, or therapy (eg https://www.hiv.uw.edu/page/mental-health-screening/gad-7).    Is anyone aware of a questionnaire that measures the distress that gender dysphoria causes? Often questionnaires have scoring levels with recommendations for treatment/therapy.    I can imagine a questionnaire where if you scored above 70% say hormone therapy would be highly recommended or perhaps less than 30%,  the recommendation might be find little ways to be yourself here and there.     I know it's difficult and perhaps not always the correct course of action  to try and put people with their feelings, emotions and anxieties into different categories or "boxes," but it might help a lot of people to see where they are in the scheme of things.   Hope this is a valid question and if you know of a questionnaire please let me know.   Jess xx  

This forum is an absolutely brilliant place. So many positive responses and each with a different take. Thank you so much everyone. I have another question but I will start a new topic. Glad you are all as helpful as you are. Jess xx

Hi, Becca!! Welcome to TGP!! We are so happy you found us. Many of us here fit into the "autumn years" category...perhaps even into the "winter years," possibly. What's important is that we are living our truth and finding happiness.   I'm thrilled to read that your wife is so supportive. What a difference having spousal support is.   Feel free to wander around. Ask questions and jump into conversations where you feel comfortable.   You are safe and loved here.

I am a cross-dresser. I have been a CDer since about September 2023, so not very long at all. I started by just wearing a skirt about the house because it was just comfortable, but as the weeks went by, I moved more and more into the 'full works'.  Now, some eighteen months later, I have learnt makeup, dressing, walking like a woman and often can be seen in the local city fully dressed as Becca. My wife and I regularly go to the theatre with me dressed and we have also been to garden centres, shopping et al.; I have even managed to alter my voice a little bit, and while I can 'pass' at a short distance, close up might be a different matter; mind you, I seem to get away with it for the most part. I am not transgender, I am male and fully intend to stay a man, however, since becoming a cross-dresser, I have learned that describing someone as 'male' or 'female' is just insufficient. I support TG rights as well as women's rights (although recent event int the UK courts have made the distinction rather sharper), and my own son is gay. He knows I cross-dress and while he has seen pictures of me, he has yet to meet Becca. I am in my autumn years, unfortunately. I hope to be able to make interesting contributions to this platform.   Hugs Becca  

One member played in each band for a time?  

True.  My life was nothing like that. I did want to be a girl, but growing up in the 50's &60's, that was not an option.

Grins really? navel rings were popular when cropped tops and the summer was in full swing

That seems like it could be a problem.  It's one reason I've never done those - bellybutton or nips.  There are times when I need to wear clothes.

I don't think any of us are born "in the wrong body" as is frequently said.  If there is a "God" or "Goddess" for that matter, she knew exactly what she was doing.  I don't think there is a right or wrong involved, we just are what we are.   I'll admit that this can come with difficulties at times.  But that is just life.  We don't need to make apologies for who we are.  It's not our fault - because it's not a fault.

And right back at you, @Davie

I would agree with you on this.  Perhaps parents should be allowed to "opt out."  But holding the whole curriculum hostage to a few's "sincerely held religious beliefs" is not doing the rest of the community right.   If parents want to teach their kids that queer people are an abomination, and will burn in hell for eternity, I guess that's their prerogative.  The problem is when they expect the school to reenforce this view on all the children of the community.   Trying to erase any knowledge of queer people's existence will eventually backfire.  Their kids will find out about us eventually.  And they may wonder why it was suppressed.   A similar thing is happening now in higher education (and news media I should add) with the current regime trying to force the universities to toe the party line.  Yeah, this is what happens under the policies of the "F" word.  It has already happened in places like Russia and Hungary.  And they claim it is in the name of christianity.

Yes. For Heather Shay. You two make my day. Hooray!

Peace and Freedom is on the wind . . . believe.

I also believe his heart was in the right place.

I love my brother very much, he is very protective of me, which i really appreciate, in some ways he seems detached? so matter of fact, he often tells me not to dwell on things and to move on or throw it in a bag and straight in the bin. His outlook tends to be if something has happened and it's bad move on from it and do not dwell, he would often say this to me over the years. I would internalise and beat myself up over the slightest thing.   The difficulty i had with navel rings was if i wore a top and the top got caught, ouch!!

I wouldn't say i was a girl, or that i wanted to be one, because i don't know what one is, this then is  my soul perhaps? what is it to be a man? what is it to be a woman? what is it like to be me? or you? i cannot answer. We might say we are shaped by events around us, fate? destiny? perhaps even our lives are mapped out with junctions, where we can go this or that way? an event unfolds, an opportunity arises out of the blue, an event takes us in another direction? My Journey then, very different to most. I had stunted growth, and was small for my year at school, I had to kneel up on a chair for the year photograph, I had a nick name too, diddy (meaning tiny) or the usual was hey dids!!! My mother took me to the doctors and one option was medical intervention or Ballet school? Mum picked Ballet school, i liked it and the teacher suggested that i had talent and should apply to go to stage school, if you showed potential or was a gifted child then the state would pay your fees, I went along to legat school of ballet a live in Ballet school, which you did your ordinary school work along side various types of dance. First lesson of the day started at six in the morning and matron made sure you were up on time. We did Yoga first lesson, then breakfast at eight followed by assembly at nine and then either your first academic lesson or limbering up class followed by either Ballet, Jazz, contemporary or character lessons. For those that do not know, Character dance, was regional dances of the world.