@Davie haha, I see what you did there. 😉   @Heather Shay re Joni. When I was a lad, not even 10 years old, You Turn Me On, I'm A Radio got massive airplay on our local, country-based radio station, seemingly for years. It's been in my head at some capacity ever since. I only discovered in recent years that she was the artist who sang it! Since then, I have become slightly more appreciative of her music and also count River as one of my favorites of hers.   Isn't it funny how we often seem to regress to the music of our childhood. ❤️

I have drafted a letter. Before i send it anywhere I would like you to have a look and tell me if there is anything i should add or remove. If it does any good then great if not. its just another silent voice.   Lately, I’ve been reading online comments, and the cruelty, especially from women, has been gut-wrenching. I know I shouldn’t look, but it’s hard to turn away from the sheer hatred some people throw around so carelessly. That quote, The title of my letter, keeps echoing in my mind, and it fits so well with what’s happening today. The trans community is a minority, and like every group, there are individuals who may misuse the identity, or who are still figuring themselves out. But most of us? We’re just people—regular, decent people, trying to live, to belong, and to be seen for who we truly are. Not monsters. Not threats. Just humans. Some paint us as perverts, using tired, offensive tropes to justify their fear. Others assume we’re predators just because we exist. But for many of us, being trans isn’t a choice, it’s the way we were born. Is it a birth defect? A cruel twist of fate? Divine punishment? I don’t know. What I do know is that it can feel unbearable, so much so that I often don’t want to be part of this world anymore. And I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. History is supposed to teach us. But time and time again, we fail to learn. We fear what we don’t understand, and that fear turns to hate. It happened with the Jews in 1930s Germany. It happened during the witch trials of the 1600s. And it’s happening now, again, to us. Yes, I understand the need for women’s spaces. I understand fear, especially when it comes from not knowing someone’s intent. But let’s be realistic, a women’s bathroom has cubicles. You don’t see me, and I don’t see you. It’s not about being threatening, it’s about living our lives without shame or fear. I’m not trying to justify anything. I’m just explaining reality. If we’re not welcome in women’s spaces, then what next? Should we wear pink stars? Should we be locked away, segregated, punished simply for existing? Must history repeat itself to the letter? I’ve lived as a woman for decades. Nineteen years ago, I was diagnosed with what was then called “transsexualism.” I had to prove myself. Endless doctor visits, psychiatric evaluations, and three full years living openly as a woman before I was even considered for treatment. It wasn’t easy. Nothing about this journey has been. And now, despite all that, I still fear walking into a public restroom. I avoid drinking too much, make sure to use the bathroom before I leave the house, and stay close to home—just to avoid confrontation. Some say, “Use the disabled toilet.” But I’m not disabled. Others say, “Use a unisex one.” Is that really the best society can offer after everything I’ve gone through to be myself? I was locked in the prison of male gender for so long. Now, I just want to live in peace. Many of us pass, as they say, but it’s not about “fooling” anyone. It’s about safety, dignity, and finally feeling at home in our own skin. I’m not a threat. I’m not your enemy. I support women’s rights and always have. But at what point does a so-called “biological male” become something else entirely? If I’ve walked like a woman, talked like a woman, and thought like a woman my entire life, what am I then? Also im not after your man. I will not date a male without full discolusure. I do live by the code anyway. Never mess with another womans man. I do disclosure as, to be honest in a relationship i just want love for the person they are. Not for the person they think i am. The real danger isn’t from women like me, it’s from those who fake it, who abuse the system, and who use our existence as an excuse for their own agendas. Ironically, by stoking fear and passing discriminatory laws, they’ve made it easier for dangerous people to enter spaces without consequence. Now, anyone can claim to be trans without putting in the effort or having to prove anything. I’m tired. I’m heartbroken. People can be unbelievably cruel, and it scares me, how easily hate spreads when fueled by propaganda and fear. I just hope, in time, things become clearer. I hope society starts listening to the voices that actually matter, the real people living real lives behind the headlines.

How do you change your limbo?

Have you ever sat and thought about how much you've changed over the years?

I have seen and taken several GD tests, however, it's been so long ago I would have a hard time putting my finger on them and it appears you have several possible answers already.

Thank you Becca - your input is welcomed.

I’ll add my thoughts here, I only wore ball ends on barbells, split rings and the like. So no catching on clothes.  BUT I was really after the pain and thrill of the act of piercing myself.  Besides who wants to see an old woman’s belly?   @kat2 I can understand the internalization, I do it too.  It is very difficult for me to forget about things.  I stress myself out over everything I can’t control but upset me in some way.  The worse it was the longer and deeper it goes.  Your brother sounds just like you said, your protector.  I never had that.  But I never understood myself until recently.    

That's awesome Joanne, how heartwarming.

@Joanne GraceThis is fantastic news. CONGRATULATIONS. It is an extremely huge step. I am so proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@LilisYou are a shining example of how it is supposed to go. I'm so proud of you and realize you are a very mature young woman. You've just encouraged me to be more honest with myself and keep moving forward. Hugs

I am so very happy for you, Joanna!!! Congratulations, girl!!! You are rocking it!!!

When I was born, probably like most, I had lovely curly hair; my mother was often greeted with awe, Isn't she lovely?' This upset my mum and promptly put me in blue, as opposed to white. Sometimes when Mum wanted a break, she would pass me over to an aunt or grandparent. My aunty was a foster mum and took in a girl named Susan. On one occasion, Susan decided to do my hair with ribbons and put a smock dress on me. I froze with fear and hid away; needless to say, I was picked up and put on the sofa. Sitting there, I did not know what to do; I did not look up !!! My mother arrived back from shopping and was furious with my aunt and said that I was never to return there again. My cousins would taunt me with pretty girl. I had long hair and was often asked if I was a girl or boy. Talk about fate!!. In ballet school, in double work, I ended up doing lifts. I am not sure why I was picked for the lift; perhaps it was because I was skinny and small, but in ballet girls always outnumbered the boys. My thoughts at the time were, Hopefully he will drop me, and I will smash my head, and that's it.

in the winter months i normally wear a baggy top or sweat shirt, this time around i will be getting a naval ring (that looks like a ring) and perhaps when its warm weather go for a cropped top and Jewelry bar just for accent.

Is this a piece of history, or is it news?