Bleakness carries undue stress and tension

Suggest you clarify. What's does it mean for a member of the trans community to misuse trans identity? And is that a common phenomenon, as you claim? Take another minority context: Are there Black people who misuse Black identity? That's a rhetorical question. I'm just saying, it's quite a slippery slope, this claim.     This implies that for some, being trans IS a choice. Is that what you believe?     While your line of inquiry may lead you to ask these questions, depending on your intended audience, consider that you may unwittingly be feeding them fodder for further bias and misunderstanding.     Consider qualifying why that is. Is it just by virtue of being trans? Or due to how we're we're regarded and treated?     I know why you say this, but to the uninformed it may sound like you're struggling with substance abuse. Consider rephrasing for clarification.     Not to mention that the disabled stalls are usually within the gendered restrooms, and that unisex restrooms are the exception and not the rule, and are therefore not necessarily readily available.     Whoa, wait a minute. Is that really the source of real danger? As far as I'm aware, instances of cis men faking trans identity to do harm are extremely rare. Less rare are fictional accounts conjured up by those who seek to oppress us by spreading lies and fear. I strongly suggest we not perpetuate that myth. And if you want to address it, then please research and consider making a point to debunk it.   In my opinion the source of real danger in this context are the politically motivated factions that use transgender as a foil and a smokescreen for their own power grabbing and actually inability to affect any positive change.      This doesn't seem to follow.    And why would trans people generally be beholden to prove something?   Thank you for sharing your letter, @Maid In Bedlam. I appreciate your vulnerability and willingness to take action.

It is indeed.   I'm still growing all the time, whether I want to or not.   I woke up this morning And lay in my bed To gather The scatter Of thoughts in my head   To wonder how this day Was going to be   And how I would deal with the things that I see   And one thought it caught me As quiet I lay   Your whole life was leading Up to this day   The good times and bad times The darkness and sun   Were all preparation For facing this one   Last year was just practice And yesterday too   To give one the wisdom To know what to do   Today is what matters We just have to see   That now is The portal To eternity

I hadn't thought about it like this, but yes the way I sit has changed.  For most of my life I had made a point of sitting not like a girl!    Now that girl stuff seems natural to me.  But I do mostly wear dresses and all.   But Yeah, in the last 10 years or so I have changed a whole lot.  While I wasn't a christian nationalist per se, I was certainly a conservative christian.  Escaping that world* gave me permission to finally admit that I wasn't really the guy I was pretending to be.   There are a whole lot of aspects to this, but yeah, I've changed.     But maybe it's just that the girl I was all along was finally able to come out into the world.  And that itself is a major change.   *I'm not against christians, I just can't live in that world any longer.

Wonderful!   I don't know if I've ever grown more than I have in the last 16 months. It's both terrifying and edifying.   100%   It's almost infuriating thinking how little I developed as a person in my past life. I grew, literally, and my body changed but I think I was basically the same, stunted, person since I was a teenager. I was more knowledgeable, but I was no better a person than I was when Weezer's Blue Album came out.

Having dealt with actual crime statistics, the "Faking it" crowd is the tiniest imaginable group of people around and usually found in pubs and bars with way too much alcohol or other intoxicants in them.  What is far more harmful are the Tall Tale Spinners / Horror Mongers who lightly tell horror tales as entertainment, or who are moralists using imaginary fear to control the behavior of actual minor age children or the more free thinking "children" of adult age.  Overall a good letter on the subject.

This could mean just about anything they want it to mean.

Sounds a bit on the "Bait and Switch" level to me.  End result will be exclusion of  post cancer restorative / prosthetic surgery.  Hang it on the Trans folks to get it started and make it appealing to "commoners" and when their cancer survivors are hit with it, too bad, so sad. 

I think the article is misleading when it states the proposed would stop gender affirming care.  I read through the actual proposal (which is linked in the article, and is an extremely long read) and what may be limited is "sex trait modification."  I couldn't find the specific definition of sex trait modification in the proposal, but I don't think all gender affirming care is being considered. To understand the real impact this proposal might have, we need to understand exactly what sex trait modification means.  I think it points to surgery, but is it full GRS or is it referring to elective surgeries like facial feminization?  However, in my opinion, I don't think the proposal is targeting all gender affirming care. 

A good therapist should be able to put your mind at ease, You should be able to talk about the direction you wish to go in and talk a little about your past history. It is important to seek out a therapist who has training in Gender Identity Issues. We are each very different and this is where the skill of a good practitioner will come to the for. Its nothing more than talking about your past and what you hope to do going forward. Good luck

Today's Casa Stana blog has a great article written by Monica Kawalska titled "Legs, Lycra and Me."  It is a mini history lesson about stockings.  Monica writes so well, you should take the time read her post.  Like me, Monica is a leg wear fan.   Here is the link to the article: http://www.femulate.org/2025/04/legs-lycra-and-me.html      

Oh my God!    Thank you so much, Heather. I'm grateful and blushing. 😊     ~ Lilis 🫂 💗 

"Got it, the clinical explanation makes sense now.   Thank you so much, Allie.💗"         ~ Lilis 🫂 

It sure sounds like it! I hope everyone is better now.

I always got a buzz cut.  I was so jealous of my sisters' hair.

If they can't outright ban gender affirming care (which I expect) they will chip away at it until it is out of reach for most of us.   I served in the army when they called me up, and the biggest part of my work-life was in public works.  But the last few months have shown, that I am in an adversarial relationship with both my federal and state government.  And even my county is quite red.   So yeah, I have a bad attitude.

"Have you ever sat and thought about how much you've changed over the years?"    My brain scrambled the words as I read the headline at first & I thought, yes, I think the way I sit has changed over the years 😆   But that does address the actual inquiry in one aspect. I used to have a trigger response to act exaggeratedly "ladylike" and "sexy", especially when encountering men. I had internalized the erroneous notion that my worth and validity was proportional to my cisheteronormative sexual appeal. Not only with men but in all situations; I had to be the sexiest and most appealing person in the room otherwise the stress of not knowing who I was would threaten to pull me apart. When when alone, I was unrelentingly paranoid and never dropped the disguise. So, the way I sat, the way I walked, stood, talked, poised my facial expression, laughed, everything was full of effort. And eventually that strain became even more unbearable than whatever I feared was beneath the surface. So, I had to let it go. I had always envied others who seemed so natural and at ease - who exuded much more of a sense of being themselves. That seemed out of reach for me. I always felt so artificial. But once I gave myself permission, albeit under duress as I felt the anxiety of masking was killing me, learning to just be has been a great relief and a blessing.

At one time I had both nipples, PA, frenum, and Hafduh. All have closed up except the PA. Its been probably 10 years since I had any jewelry in it. yet it hasn't closed. Only piercing I have now is both ears. I have thought of getting another in my ears.    Haven't heard about the job yet. However, she did say a couple days. Hoping it is soon, and I hope I get it.   Nothing new here. trying to keep occupied. But that is failing. Then my mood tanks.    Well back to doing nothing.   Hugs, Kymmie

Not quite. Gender Dysphoria is a symptom of Gender Incongruence. We treat it by reducing incongruence by aligning ourselves more closely with our identity. Affirming our identity lowers dysphoria, but it really only provides relief, not a 'cure' As we can't make our bodies and minds completely into our identified gender, it will remain incongruent. Dysphoria is not a disease, but a warning system telling us something isn't right. Just like pain is not a disease, but a warning system telling us that we are injured or not well, so we can do something about it.    Hugs,   Allie    

@April Marie I suppose its like the Caterpillar to a Butterfly metamorphose.  We go through a drama and pain filled change, and afterward we are truly able to soar in those sunshine filled blue skies!