I am on a new patch, never seen anything so big, thank fully only temporary but each patch lasts a week, I got a shock today whilst out on my walk i could feel fat displacement at the top of my leg and backside going toward my outer hips, it felt really odd and my face feels like i am munching a bag of sweets all at once, it really feels odd, i am not sure if its fat just moving around but i haven't felt it so pronounced as it is today. Perhaps another way to describe it is like when your trying to blow up a balloon. Normally i have little tiny patches so this was something out of the ordinary, maybe a different oestrogen type?

Reflecting back, when i was at what i call normal school, (not ballet school) a few doors down from where i lived a boy in the same year as me, but not in the same classes wanted me to be his friend, i didnt have any boys as friends so, well, thought about it. One day on the way home he took his bike chain off and snapped it around my neck, i didnt know what to think my emotions were all over the place, we ended up back at his house and he introduced me to his sisters and mum, "this is dids", my nick because i was so small, his mum said David what are you doing and quickly took the chain off, "oh just having a bit of fun"! his sisters were smirking at me. Over time my wrist and ankles ended up with marks on them and again my emotions couldn't make sense of things, on the one hand he was smarter than me, and could protect me, I started to walk a different way home, but he hid waiting near the end of our road. Over time i thought it just what boys did but one day my brother saw me and dragged me home to face my mum (dad was at work) he showed my mother the chain and marks on me, she sat me down and i burst into tears, I dont understand mum, I begged her not to tell my dad, and mum promptly went round to see davids mum, she just laughed it off and said boys will be boys, that was my first experience of being dominated or controlled, thankfully i was due back at ballet school and mum suggested that at half term i go and stay with one of my cousins

you seem to have a pretty unique family structure so im not sure what to think about your gf being gone or the language issue, but im certain that no person is worth detransitioning for—even if you did, it wouldn't change who you really are

https://www.npr.org/2025/04/22/g-s1-60584/gypsy-tiny-desk-concert Gypsy -- the musical

ouch, thank goodness for a nice hot bath, well back from the longest walk of this year 25 miles, groan! lovely weather meant i had to do this walk despite its length lovely mix of countryside mixed with city vibe plenty to stimulate and get away from the doom doom doom!! Some of the scenes on the walk. Hope you made your day special

Luckily, I live in one of two cities in WY. that have protection for transgender people. I also have quite a bit of support at my local VA hospital in Cheyenne.   Kymmie

That makes me glad that people are standing up to trump, and his hateful minions.   Kymmie

Well the HRT is doing it's job up top. That area has been sensitive for a month now, and now I'm starting to get some growth. It's minor but it's something! My doctor said to be patient as it'll take 2-4 years to finish, but as long as it's working that's all that matters to me. I'm in no rush, i have pads for my bra for now. I'm finally used to wearing it as well. It gets annoying in martial arts class and dance but I'm guessing I'll get used to that part eventually

If anyone needs a little break from all the negative news regarding our community,  I offer the following link to the GLAAD website section titled "Heroes of the Resistance."   https://glaad.org/heroes-of-the-resistance-lawmakers-activists-and-others-accelerating-acceptance-for-lgbtq-rights/    

I agree, Charlize.  The acting is terrific, the plot very interesting and the political intrigue fascinating.  I learned a lot and enjoyed the learning.   Carolyn Marie

If you don't have all the support you may need where you live, are you asking for help with that? Will you move to another state for it? Many are moving. Come to Massachusetts, if you'd like—we're pretty lucky with our leaders so far. I hope you find all the help you need wherever you are. Buen viaje.   https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/ng-interactive/2025/apr/24/american-refugees-escape

Hi & welcome @Jake. Thank you for sharing your story. You say you're ready, but ask if it's too soon. It sounds like your perception of others' expectations are holding you back. Is that the case? You're the one who gets to decide whether you're ready. You have every permission to hold the reigns on the narrative of your life. So, I recommend thinking deeply on why you suspect it may be too soon despite your feeling ready. Much love to you & look forward to hearing more from you.

I'm thinking similar thoughts.  Not because of Trump, but because of my GF.  I've felt for a couple years that she isn't happy about my boy form.  But I'm not happy or comfortable in girl form, really.

I know I could never go back. Now that the little light above my head finally flickered on. I am who I am and no one can change that. 47 be damned.   Pending the return of a background check. I will be the new testing center proctor for Laramie County Community Collage, Laramie campus. I received the email just a bit ago. So, I am going to be a working girl again soon. (@Willow get your mind out of the gutter.)   Hugs, all   Kymmie

I don't think I could go back either.  And I really don't want to, despite all this crap.

WOW @KymmieL that was odd. To be honest lately with all the crap 47 is throwing around I have considered returning to male mode outside the home.  But too many people know and like me, Willow, and that sob shouldn’t be able to undo years of change and acceptance. Not now, not ever.  I am accepted by my customers, my family they many LBGT groups around me, my Doctors but most of all by my church and God.  And because of my church and God’s insistence that I become a pastor, I am known by people all over the State of South Carolina. Now I just have to figure out where I go from here.

This time there are life boats.

Sending lots of love and positive vibes your way @KymmieL both for the job and for acceptance...even the transmission.    At least you've gained one more supporter in the family!!

Had something good happen when I least expected it. I couldn't sleep again so got up this morn at 1am. As normal I do a little surfing the WWW.  Our youngest is still up. He asks me if I still feel like transitioning. I say no. Then he throws me and says. If you did I would support you. I tell him the feeling is there but not acting on them.   My mind is like holey sheep dip. The first real voiced acceptance from him. When a few years a go we wound up getting into a brawl about it. kind of made my day. Now 2 of my sons accept me. now for my oldest and wife. Which I think is a unwinnable battle. But who knows.   Still haven't heard about the position yet. Hoping today. Still waiting to hear about the transmission for the wagon. Getting anxious to get her put back together.   Hugs, all.   Kymmie

Not my words. I learnt today that a local singer has released an album with that title. Those words struck a chord with me, and I just had to write about them in a different but relatable context to the artist, who was coming out about her sexuality.    The first person we ever come out to is ourselves. Take a damn good look in the mirror, etc.   I'm just wondering, how universal is the feeling that once we accept ourselves for who we really are, it is like we are meeting a new person for the very first time, at the same time as knowing that it will be a permanent, soul-mate type of relationship?